I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
