never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
