I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
