Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
