if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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