Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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