Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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