Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ugly people sure do ruin things
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
