i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
