Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
