if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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