it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
