i don't like sucking hair
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
