i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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