i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
