i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
