theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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