He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
