But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
