She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
