They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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