I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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