i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
