Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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