ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
