Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
