Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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