Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
