uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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