this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
