That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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