He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you never un-have a 4some
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
