I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
