what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she looked like the before picture.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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