I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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