Say something about gay babies.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
