hotel room ftw
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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