i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
