I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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