I cannot find my penis.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
