He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
