Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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