I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
