Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
