I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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