she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
