Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you win again, gameday.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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