That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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