I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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