whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
