She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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